To that white girl who could not believe my ethnicity, this is an open letter to you.
Dear white girl, your curiosity and your willingness to understand new cultures is admirable, but the tools you are using are wrong.
Just know that is because of people like you that I stopped telling the truth.
What is the point of telling the truth when you are just satisfying other people curiosity, without having nothing in return?
I get asked on the daily where I am “really” from, but how many people truly care?
Whenever I get an “ah okay” as an answer, usually followed by a confirmation in their eyes that says “yes, I KNEW you were exotic”…
A part of me, deep inside, dies.
Who are you, white girl, to decide my ethnicity?
Who are you to establish what people should look like in their country, culture, language?
Who are you, truly, beneath all of your soft white skin and your blue eyes?
The truth is – we are the same.
And this is why I stopped telling the truth.
Now I get creative with my answers because honestly – how much could you care?
The confused look on your face when I start listing countries you had never think of, can’t be beaten. I could be from China as much as Ukraine, and it still wouldn’t be your job to label me and put me in a box.
If after 5 minutes in the conversation you are already doubting my ethnicity and my origins, what is the point of me telling you the story of my life, so that you can go home and forget about everything else?
Your “curiosity” is not genuine so my answers won’t be as well.
Dear white girl, on the surface level you mean well, I know that. But I hope you will also realize that the surface level will only get you surface-level connections.
If not even after my question “how do people from my country look like” you don’t have an internal re-wire, girl:
There is some work that needs to be done
Being mixed is my superpower, but you will never know. Your ignorance and lack of education is too much in your face to even notice that.
It’s not my job to educate you, but I just hope you will find the courage to educate yourself.
How powerful would it be, if we could share what being black means through our eyes?
If instead of educating and lecturing other people, we could let them in in our lives, share our struggles, fears, and joy, while raise awareness about our identities?
Our vulnerability and rawness are much more powerful than us teaching you about racism. You can walk in our shoes and learn about the emotional response your actions might have caused.
This is the idea behind “Identities”. A bi-weekly series where real humans will share real human stories.
Check our intro post to find out more about this project and, if you wanna write for us, check this post! We will be opening soon to other identities ❤
